I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
