i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
