He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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