Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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