I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
