Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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