what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
