I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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