she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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