did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
