Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
