she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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