I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
