party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
