your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
