this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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