everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
