I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
