we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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