And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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