If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
