: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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