Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Randomize
