i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
