i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize