i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
