it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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