Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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