You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize