have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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