I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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