bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My bed smells like the plague
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize