it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
