you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
