If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
