at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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