That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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