Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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