he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
