I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
