it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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