He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you never un-have a 4some
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize