Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I did not marry a roomba.
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