I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
