and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I love you. Go after that dick
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
