We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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