would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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