just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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