this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize