The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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