How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
