Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
