On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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