first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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