I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
