Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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