Jerry, you need to find god
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
