I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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