it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize