is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
