Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
