Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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